Wednesday 7:00pm – I check my work emails for the final time for the day, set my auto response, and hope that I haven’t forgotten to respond to someone or tell anyone anything.

Wednesday 8:00pm – I start packing Hope’s bag. What does she need? How much is too much? I pack nappies, wipes, nappy bags, a bottle of water and snacks. Then I think… “What about me? What do I need?” More is packed into the bag. A book, some more snacks, another drink. I have no idea what to expect, this is my first time. Do I need ID? Does Hope need shoes or a change of clothes? I guess she can just go in her pj’s and come home in them right?

Wednesday 9:30pm – I look through the bag and think about everything one last time… I think I’ve got everything I need. It’s time for bed.

Wednesday 10:00pm – I’m in bed, alarm is set for 4:55am. I try to sleep.

Thursday 12:00am – I’m still wide awake.

Thursday 2:30am – I look at the time. It’s not time to get up yet. I still haven’t slept.

Thursday 4:30am – Is it worth sleeping now? I’ve got to get up soon anyway. I don’t feel like I’m worried but I do wonder if that’s why I haven’t slept or is it just that I’m scared I’ll not hear my alarm so I don’t go to sleep just incase.

Thursday 4:55am – Alarm goes off. I pick up my clothes that I’ve put aside and go out to the kitchen.

Thursday 5:00am – I start making coffee, I do my usual morning routine (except a few hours earlier). I prep Alexander’s morning iron and orange juice and I check everything once again.

Thursday 5:20am – I pack the car, slowly get Hope out of bed and try to get her to the car without waking her too much. I fail. By the time we reach the car, she is awake and looking around. She’s probably wondering why I am getting her out of bed and strapping her into the car when it’s still pitch black outside.

Thursday 5:30am – We’re on our way to the hospital.

Thursday 6:10am – I realise the hospital we are going to is not where I thought it was and am thankful that I put the directions in my phone.

Thursday 6:15am – I drive around in circles looking for an entrance to the basement parking. It really wasn’t signed well or clearly visible in the early morning darkness.

6:25am – I find the parking entrance, park and get Hope out and into the hospital ready for admission.

6;30am – Hope is admitted and we’re sent to the day surgery area.

6:35am – Waiting room. We wait. Hope starts asking for food, but she can’t have any. She wants a drink, but she can’t have any. She doesn’t understand why so she gets a little grumpy so we sing some songs to keep her entertained.

7:00am – We are taken through to the prep area where we are given gowns and blue hair nets. Nurses come in and check details a few times. We answer a few questions and we wait some more. Hope is full of energy and crawling back and forth on the bed. We see nurses walk past and each one gives a small smile in our direction.

7:30am – We are moved into the room next to the theatre. They check details one more time and tell me what’s going to happen. They tell me I can go in while they put her down to sleep and warn me that she may wriggle and struggle with the mask on her face.

7:45am – I carry Hope from her bed into the operating room and lay her down on her bed. It’s got this air filled bubble pillow thing over it, I guess to make her more comfortable. They once again tell me what they will be doing and we get ready. The mask goes on her face and she shows them how amazing she is when she doesn’t whinge, wriggle or struggle one bit. She lays comfortably, smiling through the mask as the gas starts to flow and a minute later, she’s silent, her eyes start to close and open slowly until she is asleep. She’s so peaceful but watching her slowly drift off pulled at the heart strings a little. Getting grommets is only a minor surgery. They told me it takes about 30 mins but it’s still surgery and the idea of someone so little going into surgery is just a little scary. It’s her third surgery, but it doesn’t matter that she’s been through it before, it’s still surgery.

8:00am – What do I do now? I am told to wait in the waiting room until they call and they will bring me back through and into recovery when Hope is awake. This is the time that I’m left with just me and my mind. I go down and get a coffee, because I was awake before the sun and really it just gives me something to do so I’m not just sitting and waiting. I stay downstairs for a bit then go back upstairs to the waiting area. There’s a few people in there, some may be waiting for people to come out of surgery, others possibly waiting to go into surgery. I don’t know. I’m just there waiting. After 30 minutes, I start to wonder if she is out yet. They told me 30 minutes, but they haven’t called to tell me she’s finished. I start to wonder if I told them all the right information or wonder if something didn’t quite go as planned. I watch whatever is on the tv to try and keep my mind thinking about anything else.

8:45am – They call. She is waking up.

8:50am – I’m sitting next to her recovery room bed. Hope is groggy, but she’s awake. They tell me everything went well but we will be there for another hour or two while they monitor everything. Hope drifts off to sleep a few times for a short amount of time, until she begins to be more alert and starts asking for her drink.

9:15am – We are moved from the first recovery room to the second where Hope finally gets to eat. She hasn’t eaten since dinner on Wednesday so she must be hungry and she shows it. She scoffs down a cheese sandwich, (she doesn’t usually eat cheese), some jelly and custard and some apple juice. Her personality starts to show itself again and she is winning the hearts of all the nurses and the other patients. She gets excited when she sees Elmo on the tv and eventually it becomes tricky to get her to stay sitting on her chair.

10:00am – The nurses do their final checks of everything. Hope has been changed out of her gown and back into her pyjamas. I am given the instructions of what to do and what to look out for. As soon as all the paper work is done, we can go home.

10:30am – We’re heading back down to the car and heading home.

While it was only a few hours being at the hospital, it felt like much longer.