As Hope started school this year, we’ve had a lot of people around us asking where Hope is going. When we respond and let people know she is at the same school as her brothers, we get mixed reactions. Many people smile and have very positive responses. Others, while seemingly saying positive things, either have a questioning tone in their voice or uncertainty on their faces. The thing is, there are people out there who believe Hope should be going to a special school. Honestly, we don’t feel there is anything wrong with either decision and it’s a personal decision that any parent needs to make. You’ve got to make the choice that’s right for your child.

I just want to share a little bit of the thinking and process we took when choosing a school for Hope.

Choosing a school didn’t happen the year before Hope started school. It started back when she was still a baby, years away from starting school. When Hope was just a few months old, we already knew, we wanted her to grow up with her brothers as much as possible, to stay with them when she could and to have her not feel different. In order to do this, we knew that we would want Hope to go to a mainstream school. This decision was never set in stone, and depending on how Hope was going, there was always room for us to have a conversation if we felt mainstream school with the boys wouldn’t work for her. Knowing that we wanted her to go to mainstream school, it pushed us to work hard with her over these first few years. It helped  ourdetermination to get her ready as much as possible so she wouldn’t start school way behind her peers. We always knew she was not going to be as intellectually ready as Alexander would be but we would do what we could to prepare her.

Knowing we wanted her to go to mainstream, also meant we began looking at schools not a year before she started, but a few years earlier when we were looking into schools for Lincoln. Luckily for us, it really didn’t take long to find a school that we felt was right.

We went to a parent information evening at one school and after listening to them talk, they asked if anyone had any questions. That’s when we spoke up. “As much as we’re looking for our son, we’re also looking for a school for our daughter, with Down syndrome, who will start school in a few years.”

Well… we didn’t have to say anything further. They smiled, nodded and straight away went on to tell us how they worked with kids that needed extra assistance. While I was interested in what they were saying, it was about more than their words. It was the body language, the facial expressions. They WANTED hope, they were going to be WELCOMING. We didn’t want to send her to a school that simply took her in because they had to. We wanted to send her to a school that wanted her. We wanted to send her to a school that would welcome her with open arms and would encourage her to grow and learn. When we sat listening and watching the principal and assistant principal that night, our decision was easy. This was the school!

I know not everyone has had the same experience in looking for schools for their kids with extra needs. I know some parents have to talk to a few schools and get a feel for it and sometimes, they’ve just had to go with the best out of some not perfect options. I think we were just lucky that we found the right school right away.

So, Lincoln has now completed 2 years at the school and Alexander and Hope have done about 2 1/2 weeks. Do we feel like we have made the right decision? Absolutely!

Hope has a couple of teachers aids in the class, who work closely with her allowing her to work at her own pace. They are encouraging her independence as much as possible. They have special routines in place for Hope because they have worked out how she works. Hope is still in nappies and they have adjusted and worked out a system that works well with helping her with her toilet training amidst a school day. After just a few weeks, we have seen some improvements and changes in Hope already. We’ve been working on her pencil grip for a while in OT but since starting school, and having more time using a pencil every day, we are seeing improvements. It’s a small thing, but it will make the world of difference as she continues to learn. While Hope still isn’t fully verbal and doesn’t use many words to ask for things, she is becoming so much more vocal. Some of this has been happening for quite some time, but the fact that this has continued goes to show that they are encouraging Hope and they are working with her in the ways that she needs to keep growing. They are also going to begin with a special program teaching her to read.

One of our fears for Hope was that there’s the potential for her to be put into the “too hard” basket and that she wouldn’t be joining in with the class, and she’d just draw and do her own thing in the corner. While we were 99% sure this wasn’t going to happen, it was still a fear until we knew it wasn’t happening, and it’s clear that it’s not. There’s also that fear of people thinking “well she’s not going to be able to do much so why bother”. We do know this has happened for others but again, it’s obvious that the teachers do not have this attitude about Hope at school and they have expressed how impressed they are with how much she has already shown she is capable of.

Hope has a long way to go. We know she’s not going to have an IQ like Steven Hawking or become the next Steve Jobs but in the right environment and surrounded by the right people, she will succeed in being the best she can be.

Walking through the school in the afternoon, Hope waves and says bye to everyone she sees. This includes the teachers and the kids. It feels like almost everyone in the school knows who Hope is as she says bye and they respond with “Bye Hope” and a big smile. The teachers in older grades will ask me how she is doing and give her a smile as she goes past. She has a buddy in year 5 who always makes sure she comes up and says hi, she’ll chat with me and ask how she’s going, and will chase after Hope as she takes off. Hope is at a school where she is not only welcomed but she is also loved, and I couldn’t ask for anything better than that.