Often when we think about security blankets, we think about our kids and their blankets or toys but today I want to talk about my own security blanket. It’s not in the usual form but in the form of a ‘pram’.

Obviously, when Hope and Alexander were babies, they were in a pram all the time. At that age, they need to be. When Alexander was strong enough to walk around more, we stopped using our twin pram and moved to a single pram for Hope when needed and if we were at the shops, they would go in the trolley together. Over time, Hope had gotten more steady on her feet to the point where she could walk most places. She would even join us for family walks, and hold our hands as we walked. The problem is, that I still have this security blanket, the pram. The pram has remained in the back of the car and even now, at the age of 5, I still find myself pulling it out at times and it’s time to let it go. 

The thing about the pram is that I don’t have it for Hope anymore. Hope loves being able to walk. The pram is for me. It makes things easier. I take the pram out of fear that Hope will get tired and I’ll have to carry her. I take the pram out of fear that Hope will try to run off the other way. I take the pram out of fear that I will struggle keeping track of all 3 kids if they are all loose. I take the pram because without it, I’ve got no security blanket. 

It’s not like I use the pram all the time. I stopped using it to take Hope into her therapies a while ago. They were short little walks from the car to a building. No more than 1 or 2 minutes long. But as soon as another child is with me, I would automatically consider taking the pram.

When the entire family goes walking together, the pram is left behind. It doesn’t feel so difficult when both Ben and I are together, but without Ben, I doubt myself and get worried that I won’t be able to keep all 3 kids close. In my mind, it feels justified but the problem is, it’s really not. There will be times where the pram will be useful, like when I took Hope to the zoo recently. It was an entire day of walking and the zoo has lots of hills but this really is the only time I should even consider using the pram. 

I have recently started to let it go. I will often take both Hope and Alexander with me when I pick up Lincoln from school on Friday so Ben gets a rest before going to work in the evening. I do my best to leave the pram in the car and allow Hope to walk with me. The smile on her face as we cross the road together and down the path to the school gate is huge. She loves to be the same as her brother. She loves being given the opportunity to walk with us. Yes, it has been slightly more difficult and she does sometimes want to go one way while we need to go another, but it hasn’t been terrible. It’s been easier than I thought it would be. Hope will be in school next year and, I can’t take her to school in a pram so I need to get comfortable knowing that we can all walk to the school gate together without issues. I need to continue to give her the opportunity to walk, so she learns what is expected of her as she walks. So, I’m letting go of that security blanket because Hope doesn’t need it and neither do I.