The Reaction.

Your 3-year-old is currently at the level of an 18-month-old.

Reading these words broke my heart.

The night I received these results I stood in the shower, the water rushed over my bowed head as tears ran down my face.

I know Hope is delayed, I know Hope isn’t at Alexander’s level but is she, mentally, physically and emotionally, only half of what he is?  Thoughts like this ran through my brain at dizzyingly high speeds.

Every second of each day, of each week, of each month, we work hard together with Hope to Bridge this gap. We are all utterly exhausted. Lately, The family’s emotions have been running high, our eyes have become wearier and it feels like we are forever on the move, travelling to and from appointments. When I received these results, I thought, what is the point?

The Assessment.

The assessment is conducted over a two-day period which assesses Cognitive, Receptive communication, expressive communication, fine motor skills and gross motor skills. It is a challenging assessment, there are times items are placed in front of her, no instructions given and Hope has to figure it out herself… I WOULDN’T KNOW TO PUSH THE RUBBER DUCK WITH A PENCIL. Hope is tested, Hope is timed and Hope is scored.

I must admit, every time she did the right thing, I would feed her a snack… I hope she picked up on my subtle hints.

These assessments are conducted throughout the year, whether it is occupational therapy, physiotherapy or speech therapy, it’s a necessary unpleasantry we have to go through to ensure Hope is on the right path.

The Realisation.

On Tuesday, I received my results, that night I had an emotional breakdown in the shower, I woke up lousy on Wednesday but during my shower Wednesday night (I do my best thinking in the shower) something clicked.

It occurred to me, like a huge wake-up call, that If we didn’t spend hours running around to therapies each week, if we didn’t spend hours at home going over the day’s exercises time and time again, if we didn’t support her as we do and if we just gave up, she wouldn’t be at the level she is now. We do this all for Hope.

I am more determined than ever to close this “age gap”, to show everyone that Hope is not going to be left behind and to prove to the world that Hope is strong, determined and above all, loved.

**we now have no hot water for the week, I blame it entirely on the assessment and making me have long showers and not on us being unorganised.